Starting tomorrow I’ll be reverting back to my normal form as the Son of God. I just wanted you all to know so that you’re not caught off-guard.
If you’ve wronged me in the past, I’ve turned over a new leaf (not surprising given my background) and have decided that you can redeem yourself by sending me $50 via PayPal for which I’ll be eternally grateful. Of course that means more coming from me as “eternally” takes on a whole new depth when I invoke it.
For those of you that just want to be sure you have your reservations all in order for Sunday (the doom and gloom stuff will run all through Saturday) you can pay a one-time fee of $25 and I’ll send you a receipt of your status.
Oh, also, there’s going to be a really awesome buffet going on upstairs that’ll put Golden Corral to shame. It’s first-come first-serve and seating is limited but for just $10 I’ll make sure you get a seat. I hear Julia Child will be on-hand so don’t miss out.
Offer (and everything else) expires 11:59:59 PM GMT May 21. Offer not valid in Hades or for Mark Breckenridge of Basking Ridge, New Jersey (you sir, deserve your fate).