Forgive me for my commentary,
Uttered for a beneficiary.
For the sake of the voluptuary,
I offer up this corollary.
Let’s start out with the ordinary,
And admit we’ve all done solitary.
For those whose partners were imaginary,
The euphoria will be quite momentary.
While searching for some sanctuary,
Teens intercourse vehiculary.
Mates fantasize about the legendary.
With some others it’s just necessary.
The puritans are customary,
All they do is missionary.
Writers being literary,
Do they do it stationary?
For most it’s always voluntary,
Unless holed up in a penitentiary.
Leaving the house not on your itinerary?
Tech brings porn to the sedentary.
Let others debate what’s discretionary,
Tricks pay… For her it’s just monetary.
Some must have what’s ancillary,
Starved lovers delight in culinary,
Sated and spent atop confectionary.
Some relish an intermediary,
Ménage à trois’ societary.
For some it’s all quite urinary,
Golden showers. Are they sanitary?
We’ve heard about the seminary,
And what goes down the Vicary.
When foreplay’s an obituary,
It’s likely to end in the mortuary.
And if you find this all unsavory,
Reflect those involving veterinary.
What’s erotic and extraordinary?
In the end—simply arbitrary.
The face? It’s all hereditary.
Skin color is just pigmentary.
Eyes, of course, are visionary.
An athlete’s legs? Quite functionary.
What I find most salivary,
Will manifest vocabulary.
For it’s a carnal cavitary-
Your Ucipital Mapillary.