Two-and-a-half hours of nonsensical jibber-jabber interspersed with adrenaline-inducing special effects.
It’s too long where it should be shorter and too short where it should be longer.
Leans more toward unintentional comedy than summer blockbuster disaster movie.
Serves up a fun-size treat instead of a full snack.
An experience every bit as chaotic as the exploding island of Isla Nublar.
Embraces chaos as it explores what happens when dinosaurs can no longer be contained.
This is one flat Ocean. That might make for smooth sailing, but not so smooth for a film.
Director Kormákur seems to have a knack for draining all of the energy out of life’s most epic stories.
This unquestionably fun film would have been so much better with a shift in focus to generate Lando Calrissian: A Star Wars Story.
This doomed liner not only makes it to port, but entertains us even as we’re predicting its nearly-certain demise.